I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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