She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize