Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
