I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
