I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
