I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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