so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
There's always time for handjobs
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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