I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
