fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
