is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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