alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
