hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
