I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
