Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
