I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
