That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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