Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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