She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
