tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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