david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
