1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I supernannyed him into submission
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
