ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
