She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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