She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
