I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
