I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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