it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
