I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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