dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
