hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
