tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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