I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
