Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
