the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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