i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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