Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
