Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
