i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
