He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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