I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
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