did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
