I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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