I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm too high and old for this...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
