Define "chronic" masturbator.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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