she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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