how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
