So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It was like getting head from an anaconda
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Randomize