So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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