Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
