love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
