Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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