What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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