spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
