Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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