so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
