Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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