just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
