dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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