Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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