Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
