You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
