I didn't shave. On purpose
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
