He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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