forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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