And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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