i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
