I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
