She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
