i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Randomize
