Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My life is pants optional.
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